Surviving 2017? Still unclear how I pulled that off (FINE, I'll admit it — marijuana carried me, plus more marijuana, the fantasy of catching a glimpse of Ginger Prince in his royal wedding outfit, and somehow even more marijuana). December though? That month had its own survival kit: the flaming homosexual dessert masterpiece dominating every feed, a hammered opossum living her best life, Robin Roberts serving a surgical takedown of Omarosa, and Rhoda Young pulling off citizen detective work that would make any journalist weep.
We've reached the very last Hot Slut of the Month showdown of 2017, which means the race to become Dlisted's supreme ruler (translation: 2017's Hot Slut of the Year) is almost here. Same drill as every other month — three contenders earned their spot through sheer Facebook love, and I hand-selected the fourth. Meet your hopefuls:
A Canadian pastry chef created the most aggressively queer confection imaginable after a couple demanded the flamingest cake in existence. Anyone side-eying this pick better try sourcing a Liberace-on-unicorn baking pan themselves before throwing shade.
Florida's intoxicated opossum decided taxation via trespass meant raiding a liquor store and getting absolutely wrecked on unpaid hooch. Truly a state representative moment.
Robin Roberts — respected news anchor (said with complete sincerity this time) — dragged Bye Felicia out of retirement just to deploy it against Omarosa in the most satisfying way possible.
Rhoda Young, a Virginia-based civilian reporter, basically moonlit as both Murphy Brown AND Jessica Fletcher simultaneously, cracking an arson case through sheer determination and internet sleuthing.
Because I'm itching to roll out the Hot Slut of the Year bracket, this HSOTM battle will wrap up faster than Forrest and Jenny's college dorm hookup. Expect the champion reveal this Friday.
Who Is December's Hot Slut Of The Month?
Pic: Facebook, Facebook, ABC News, Facebook
