Tying the Knot Young Made Me a Better Partner in Life

“Statistics show that men in long-term marriages outlive single men by nearly a decade, whereas married women tend to have shorter lifespans than their unmarried counterparts. So, Ben, let’s be clear: you need her far more than she needs you!” That was the message my godfather delivered from the altar just before I exchanged vows at the tender age of 21.

Of course, men enjoy cracking jokes about being tied down, but the real punchline for me is that my life would be an utter disaster without my wife’s partnership, capability, encouragement, gentle scolding, and affection.

To unmarried women who think, “He should get his life together before I commit,” I’d suggest that assumption might not hold true. In my own journey, marriage did far more to shape me into a capable man—both personally and professionally—than living as a bachelor ever could. In my view, a man stands a much stronger chance of taking on the world when he has a wife beside him.

Let me break it down.

Marriage fuels a man’s sense of adventure.

Beyond the romance and thrill of navigating life with the certainty of someone’s lifelong devotion, marrying young has brought me—and I believe her too—a range of practical and financial advantages. Our completely aligned interests, paired with a deep level of dedication, allow us to reap the rewards of dividing labor, specializing in our skills, and backing each other’s risks. These gains simply can’t be achieved alone or with a weaker commitment.

Many young men—and women—I meet talk as if they need to become the ideal partner, to have nearly everything figured out, before they seriously consider marriage. Meanwhile, most of them avoid taking real chances or investing deeply in anything because they lack a wingman, a life partner who has pledged to believe in them, collaborate with them, and love them no matter what path they take. Marriage can enable—and profit from—bolder risks: you can shift your focus away from the anxiety of short-term optimization and start playing a long game, where the worries and consequences of temporary setbacks are softened by a broader perspective.

Sure, much of marriage is simply handling daily routines—the muddy slog necessary to reach those occasional breathtaking viewpoints—but even in that grind, dividing the weight logistically, technically, and emotionally helps you get there faster and enjoy the journey more.

Marriage makes men reliable.

That capacity to take meaningful risks, follow through on serious commitments, and persevere toward a larger long-term goal through good times and bad also makes a man an appealing teammate and leader. Men who have tamed their raw, instinctual drives and redirected that energy toward achieving more strategic and socially valuable goals—like building a family and community—are the kind of generals you’d trust with your army. Men who have persuaded a woman to dedicate her life to him—knowing there could be extended periods, such as raising children, when she might rely on his support—walk into every job interview and meeting wearing a ring that signals they’ve been deemed a trustworthy partner by at least one person when the stakes are high.

This badge of dependability serves men well in their professions. Numerous studies indicate that married men earn 10-24% more than their single counterparts, and a study of twins found that the married twin made 26% more than the unmarried one, despite presumably comparable skills and backgrounds.

I can confirm from my own career that having a wife and children early gave me a distinct advantage in connecting socially with men far above me in the professional hierarchy. We shared the same life stage and similar outside-work responsibilities and experiences, even if they had ten or twenty more years of work experience than me.

Not every man needs to “discover himself” before getting married. If your partner says he needs to “save up” or “concentrate on his career,” but you want to build a life together, ask him to consider my story and the evidence behind it. It’s common for guys to get stuck on the idea that they need a certain income before committing to marriage—or even a serious relationship. And sometimes, they genuinely need at least a job before they can say “I Do,” especially if they plan to be the primary provider. But honestly, in most cases, men would be better off finding the right woman to marry.

My personal experience backs up a wealth of research showing that marriage fosters personal development, health, and joy, as well as financial prosperity. For men, sealing the deal in marriage—even more than in business—remains one of the most dependable paths to longevity, career achievement, and fulfillment. For my part, I’m deeply thankful I found a woman brave enough to commit to being my lifelong partner before I had fully “arrived.”