Diversity adds flavor to existence, and nowhere is that more evident than in the human mind. The capacity to marvel and innovate, each in our own way, is an everyday wonder we often overlook—which is why we revisit this piece from Darling Issue 19, which beautifully captures the awe in how women differ from men and why mutual respect makes the world better.
Let's celebrate every unique difference. Read on.
The Splendid Distinctions of the Female Mind
'Clouds Viewed from Both Sides'
By Stephanie Quick
Approximately 7.5 billion individuals currently inhabit Earth. I recall a news report from my middle school years when demographers predicted we'd surpass 6 billion. Like the years, time and existence keep orbiting the sun, with dependable sunrises and sunsets that chart our days. Seven and a half billion eyes gaze at the same sun; 7.5 billion inner universes observe the identical sky and each forms its own interpretation of life. Clouds drift, shift, and populate the space above our 7.5 billion heads, offering shade, releasing rain, or covering us with snow.
I picture a world of sameness, where everyone is forced to view the sky identically, from the same perspective. Or I contemplate a life where we all agreed that clouds resemble the same animal. Such a requirement, whether real or imagined, would strip us of empathy. We'd be better off in a void, beneath a barren sky. Our differences are a reality, and they are splendid.
Empathy isn't exclusive to the female mind, but it is statistically more prevalent. For decades, empirical studies have tried to determine why this is, or which came first—the chicken or the egg—but I suspect there are no straightforward answers to the complexities of human cognition, behavior, and emotion. One of the earliest and most enduring lessons from my undergraduate psychology studies is that the best response to any question is, 'Well, it depends.'
Do men and women perceive and process information differently? Research strongly indicates this as a dependable fact. Are there harmful ways to respond to this? History shows there are. Nevertheless, I think it's worthwhile and feasible to openly ponder why this might be true without scorching our tongues on the acid of 'stereotypes,' as if it were a forbidden word.
Our distinctions are undeniable, and they are magnificent.
We honor and investigate the craft of womanhood, recognizing it as a distinct path from the craft of manhood. No one needs to argue about superiority here, but it's healthy to respect the strengths of both genders as two different viewpoints reflecting humanity. What we perceive and process differently can, when managed wisely, fortify and uplift the other. That alone makes it worthy of thoughtful regard.
Photo credit: Tom Barrett
These are neither new queries nor original concepts; doctoral dissertations have been built on cognitive gender differences, and books have assigned personalities and mythological planetary homes to men and women alike. Yet we coexist on this single planet, beneath this single sky, and that is beneficial. We also inhabit an era of fresh answers brought by enlightened information, which is advantageous. Historically, early cognitive psychology faced limitations when theories were published using immature scientific methods and unreliable test conditions. In the late 19th century, French researchers produced studies and reports claiming that head circumference directly correlated with intelligence, concluding that men were inherently smarter than women because their heads were typically larger (This flawed reasoning wasn't limited to misogyny; Maria Montessori also subscribed to the idea, though she dismissed any gender-based conclusions).
It's easy (and correct) to reject these ideas today, but empirical science had to begin somewhere. Eventually, the curious world started to differentiate between unfounded stereotypes and genuine, honorable strengths. Being a woman is different from being a man, and the sky appears different from each pair of eyes, each mind. We are a magnificently complex species, and rigorous peer-reviewed research has advanced our understanding of many nuances that explain why.
One of the most reliable empirical findings in gender cognitive psychology is a female tendency toward empathy, which is more prevalent in female subjects than in men almost universally. Again, this isn't about superiority—it's simply acknowledging an empirically recognized strength. This, combined with an unprecedented increase of women in public, professional, and educational domains, and the emergence of academically acknowledged and clinically respected emotional intelligence, has opened new frontiers to explore, along with clearer language to describe what we already observe when assessing our lives and the world around us.
As more women join the creative and corporate workforce than ever, and earn more undergraduate and graduate degrees than ever, the optimal way forward in a postmodern West is a world that supports and doesn't distrust the strengths of both men and women. Empathy is a vital element of transformative leadership, which (unlike its less altruistic counterpart, transactional leadership) is especially effective in cultivating collaborative teams, welcoming communities, and supportive environments. This has been observed in educational institutions, corporate environments, nonprofits, households, healthcare, government, manufacturing, business, and social services. In short, wherever people exist.
The most promising direction for a postmodern West is a society that embraces and doesn't question the strengths of both genders.
As Susan Cain noted in her book 'Quiet,' President Franklin D. Roosevelt 'was a politician, while Eleanor spoke out of conscience.' Both were recognized for their compassion, and together they guided a mourning nation through the sacrifices and turmoil of World War II. By all accounts, Eleanor served her country with profound sensitivity—and empathy. The example and resilience of both her and her husband, which carried us through such a challenging decade, is a lovely portrait from which we can still learn.
Decades ago, Joni Mitchell sang, 'I've looked at clouds from both sides now, from up and down, and still somehow... I really don't know clouds at all.' The same might be said of the female (or male) mind. Life is subtle, the world is varied, and humans are intricate. Building relationships and leading initiatives in a changing global landscape will rarely be easy, and they will demand empathy. This is a strength we can bring to our communities, our countries, and the lives we interlace through our micro and macro worlds in between. Clouds, like life, are ever-changing and hard to quantify. Science will occasionally reach its limits, guiding us to moments where we simply pause and gaze in awe at the beauty around us.
Yet we have both science and a sisterhood to remind and reassure us that we are not unprepared for the challenges on the path.
This article originally appeared last spring in Darling Issue No. 19. It is now ON SALE for a limited time in our shop HERE.
Featured artwork by Ramsey Dau for Darling Issue No. 19
