The holiday season is packed with parties, from intimate dinners to big celebrations. But the etiquette for these events doesn't change with the calendar. Whether you're throwing a casual movie night, a graduation banquet, or a birthday bash, these three lasting principles will guide you.
1. Don't be afraid to ask—or offer.
Host: If you're the one hosting and realize you're short on supplies (extra dips, paper plates, a bottle of liquor), don't hesitate to ask guests if they can pick something up on their way. It's perfectly fine to send a group text or Facebook message along with your invitation, saying you've got the main dishes covered and asking everyone to bring a side, or requesting white wine because you only have red on hand. You'll be surprised how many people appreciate the chance to contribute to someone who's opening their home.
Guest: When you're attending, it's always polite to ask the host beforehand if they need anything—or just bring something anyway. A quality bottle of wine is a reliable choice, or homemade treats if you have the time. Hardly anyone will complain if you arrive with a plate of cookies!
2. Tidy up and help out.
Host: With more people moving through your home, a quick pre-party tidy-up can make things flow better. How much you clean depends on your time and standards. Personally, I can't stand having dishes in the sink when someone drops by. If a guest arrives unexpectedly, I'll start washing dishes while they're there and apologize like crazy.
But if I didn't have time to vacuum and there are a few coats lying around, I don't beat myself up over it. Do whatever cleaning feels right to you. And make sure trashcans are easy to find—guests won't know you keep one under the sink or that a cabinet front is actually a pull-out compactor. Put the trashcan (and extras for big parties) in a visible but out-of-the-way corner.
…offering to help clean up is always the best gift you can give.
Guest: I know it's tempting to just leave your plate on the table, but let's give the host a hand. If you have a paper plate and can't find the garbage, ask. This keeps clutter down for other guests and makes cleanup easier later. For glass or ceramic plates, offer to put them in the sink to free up table space. If you're among the last to leave, offering to help clean up is the greatest gesture. You don't have to scrub counters—just gathering empty bottles into a bag goes a long way. Your host will be grateful!
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3. Express your gratitude.
Host: Are toasts out of style? I rarely hear them anymore, but if you're comfortable, raise a glass (or just call out) to thank your guests for coming, for bringing things, and for being the wonderful people they are. Having friends show up for you is a timeless gift, so acknowledging their presence shows it mattered. They'll almost always respond with a "no, thank YOU!"
Guest: Thank your host! They opened their home and secretly worried about running out of supplies, disappointing you, or that no one would have fun or show up. Show your appreciation with a simple "Thanks for having us," and I guarantee they'll feel the night was a success.
What are your tips for hosting and attending gatherings?
Image via Hart & Honey
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