In 2006, while circling the globe for the very first time, I encountered a young woman from Sweden. We journeyed together briefly, and the following year found me visiting her back in her home country. While our romance eventually faded, my devotion to Sweden only deepened through the years — I picked up the language and even made an attempt at relocating there. Sweden captured my heart completely. My buddy Lola shares that same affection. We first connected in 2008, during the earliest days of travel blogging. Where I failed to put down roots there, she succeeded — building a family with her spouse and child, and thriving in Stockholm. She ranks among the most beloved figures in our field, and I admire the visual poetry in her prose and the artistry of her camera work.
Her latest publication, Lagom, explores Swedish daily life and cultural identity. In today's conversation, I chat with her about her adopted homeland.
Nomadic Matt: Tell everyone a bit about yourself. Lola: I come from Nigeria, studied in America, and now reside in Sweden, where I work as a writer and photographer, examining culture through cuisine, customs, and ways of living. National Geographic Creative represents my photographic portfolio, and the Society of American Travel Writers (SATW) honored me with their distinguished 2018 Bill Muster Award for Travel Photographer of the Year.
Before pivoting fully into travel media, I spent over twelve years building websites and designing GIS system architectures.
What truly drives me is unpacking cultural subtleties — the forces that distinguish us and the threads that connect us. This same fascination shapes everything I produce as a travel journalist and image-maker.
How did you end up in Sweden? I crossed paths with my husband back in 2006 while residing in the United States. Countless flights and several temporary stays in Stockholm eventually led to my permanent relocation in 2009. Ours is a union stitched together across cultures, races, and continents. With two children now in the mix, Sweden will remain our base for the foreseeable future — partly because it offers an exceptional environment for raising kids.
How do you find life in Sweden? Good? Bad? My experience here mirrors what I put into it, which is precisely why I penned this book — to serve as a practical cultural companion for anyone hoping to truly absorb Swedish customs and their finer points. Having spent significant time in both Nigeria and the United States, I'm grateful to raise a young family in this country. By and large, the standard of living is outstanding: stress remains manageable, there's ample room to focus on loved ones, and the social safety net is robust, supported collectively through our tax contributions.
What's your least favorite part about living in Sweden? I frequently describe Sweden as the world's most open society, populated by some of its most guarded individuals — a paradox I explore in depth in the book. Sweden certainly harbors its shadowed corners. The fundamental distinction, as I see it, goes like this: in America, as a Black woman, I could theoretically rise to the stature of an Oprah Winfrey, racial tensions notwithstanding. In Sweden, however, while you might be granted a quiet corner in which to enjoy a peaceful existence, scaling those corporate summits becomes a monumental undertaking. Some individuals are still bypassed for job interviews purely because of the names listed on their CVs. So although I cherish my life here, no society is flawless, and Sweden faces considerable work on its integration challenges.
Why did you write this book? The Swedish term "lagom" has surged into the spotlight as 2017's defining lifestyle buzzword, prompting publishers to flood the market with their own takes — from cookbooks to home design titles.
My aim was different. I wanted to offer something beyond kanelbulle recipes, because lagom itself isn't universally embraced, or even liked, by a lot of Swedes. The philosophy has gradually come to imply something ordinary, dull, and unremarkable in many minds. I unpack all of this within the book, while also clarifying why lagom remains a fundamentally sound ideal — separate from "jante," that toxic counterpart that latches onto lagom and taints it with negativity. Understanding lagom is essential for grasping how Swedes think.
Eight years of Swedish residency, paired with even longer spent writing about the land and its heritage, have given me a distinctive lens. I'm also married to a Swede, which lets me examine the culture through both an outsider's and an insider's gaze. My goal was to demystify lagom for international readers while holding up a reflective surface for Swedes themselves, showing them how the concept surfaces in their dealings with others. Capturing something so deeply rooted in a way that doesn't alienate outsiders or condescend to locals is genuinely tricky.
It fundamentally shapes the Swedish outlook, and personal interpretations of lagom continue to evolve with each new generation.
I felt compelled to craft a measured cultural examination that would hold relevance long after the Nordic design wave subsided.
What does lagom mean and why is it important? Outwardly, lagom tends to be summarized as "not too little, not too much, just right," though the term carries far greater depth, edging closer to the concept of "optimal." It represents the master key to the Swedish worldview, informing virtually every dimension of life and culture throughout the nation.
The word also flexes depending on context — leaning toward "less is more" in interior design, "restraint" regarding meals, "equilibrium and harmony" in societal terms, and "presence" in matters of wellness.
Drilling down to its essence, lagom champions the pursuit of perfect equilibrium, which — once woven into every facet of your existence — guides you toward operating in your most natural, unforced condition.
What constitutes lagom differs from one individual to another. My sense of fulfillment may not match yours, yet both of us can feel content. Lagom embodies the ideal sweet spot or golden mean in your personal existence, and crucially, it nudges you to dwell within that space uniquely suited to you.
For travelers to Sweden, how can they detect lagom at work or play? Swedes — particularly within Sweden itself — often get labeled as standoffish, difficult to approach, or even chilly and dismissive. Yet more often than not, this behavior simply reflects lagom's emphasis on personal space. Locals instinctively maintain distance, not from any wish to avoid you, but out of consideration for your comfort. Step outside Sweden's borders, and that restraint quickly evaporates in social situations.
In professional settings, lagom drives the pursuit of optimal outcomes, which translates into extensive preparation, countless meetings, robust consensus-building, and heavy collaboration. The objective is to land on the most balanced solution to every challenge.
To illustrate: outsiders working or operating businesses in Sweden frequently grumble about the time Swedes invest in preliminary groundwork. Agendas get scrutinized repeatedly, and multiple gatherings may be convened just to address a single item. Rolling out plans can consume months before any execution begins.
For a culture that champions efficiency, this enthusiasm for meticulous preparation might appear self-defeating — even wasteful. However, lagom's appetite for balance through pruning excess demands thorough preparation. "Thorough" is calibrated to whatever scope is needed to eliminate irrelevance, no matter how extended the timeline.
Efficiency, properly defined, means achieving peak performance with minimal squandering of time, resources, and energy. That very definition mirrors lagom's essence.
So lagom essentially grants permission to invest whatever duration is necessary in preparation and strategy development, since that investment is the only path to guaranteed efficiency.
For travelers who would like to date a Swede, how can understanding lagom help them? Swedes aren't predisposed to volunteer personal details or share more than necessary, making it challenging to gauge where a relationship stands. Their culture also avoids dramatic hand movements or effusive language, so signs of romantic interest tend to surface as unusually sustained eye contact.
During a date, keep follow-up queries ready to sustain dialogue and prevent exchanges from stalling at one-word responses. They'll naturally gravitate toward brief answers unless prompted to elaborate.
If you're expecting a candlelit evening with someone else footing the bill, brace yourself: Swedes typically expect to divide costs, reciprocate favors, and avoid feeling indebted to others — particularly financially. That impulse to keep scales balanced can catch people off guard when the check arrives, unless it was addressed beforehand.
For those already in relationships with Swedes who have concerns or questions, ask directly. Swedes prize straightforwardness, though be ready for equally frank replies.
Why are people so fascinated with Sweden? The allure largely stems from the exceptional standard of living and the country's progressive social fabric. A more surface-level draw lies in the aesthetics — the people, the scenery, the interior styling, and the architecture. Stockholm itself is breathtaking, sprawling across fourteen islands visible from various scenic overlooks throughout the city. Sweden regularly lands in the top ten rankings of the world's happiest nations, suggesting the country has cracked the code on something important.
What's the one thing you want people to take away from your book? Lagom represents a mindset that actively combats stress. Excess or deficiency in any direction generates tension, so lagom seeks equilibrium between the two, arriving at the optimal outcome by paring away what isn't needed. Not flawlessness — simply the best available answer.
Envision a scale that constantly demands balance. Excess or scarcity tips it dramatically to one side, so lagom restores equilibrium ("just right") by trimming away the surplus and eliminating stress-inducing factors within our reach — whether material possessions or relationships that deplete us.
Lola A. Åkerström is an award-winning writer, public speaker, and photographer affiliated with National Geographic Creative. Her bylines regularly appear in prominent outlets including AFAR, the BBC, The Guardian, Lonely Planet, Travel + Leisure, and National Geographic Traveler. She also helms Slow Travel Stockholm, a digital publication devoted to in-depth exploration of Sweden's capital. Based in Stockholm, she maintains the blog Geotraveler's Niche. Her book is available on Amazon. (Genuinely captivating read — I strongly suggest picking it up!)
The post Embracing Lagom in Sweden: A Conversation with Lola Akerstrom appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.
