The approach of a fresh new year tends to awaken a spark of optimism within each of us. Wouldn't you say? We compile mental inventories of the harmful routines we long to release, the cycles of self-doubt we're determined to break free from, and the recognition that existence would feel far less complicated if we simply embraced the liberty of our authentic selves.
With that in mind, this piece from Darling Issue 06 (accessible instantly in digital form by all subscribers) seemed perfectly timed. Give it a read and you'll understand exactly what we mean.
We hope it moves you.
The Unbreakable Connection Between Beauty Norms and Lineage
A Universal Standard of Beauty
Written by Adrienne Sandvos
I sift through a collection of faded monochrome photographs tucked inside a shoebox rescued from my grandmother's wardrobe, gently sliding one image behind the next as I study the faces of unfamiliar people—cotton frocks and untamed braids whipping in the breeze, outdoor revival gatherings beneath summer canopies, the weathered porch of a sharecropper's dwelling bordered by endless cotton rows.
It represents a realm I've listened to tales of but have never personally inhabited. I shuffle through photograph after photograph until a single face suddenly halts my browsing. Recognizable eyes—the manner in which they angle downward as she grins, positioned beneath prominent cheekbones—eyes I've encountered countless times, reflected in my own reflection.
My great-grandmother belonged to a Native American lineage. She wed a lanky Caucasian man who transported her to Texas in a covered wagon, departing from Kentucky, and now, spanning three generations onward, I recognize her likeness mirrored within me. These eyes hold an invisible filament tying me to her and to everything she embodied. They belong to me just as they belonged to her, and there exists something profoundly beautiful in the uncomplicated truth that we share them. They communicate far more than hereditary traits—they convey a cultural inheritance and a chronicle that I share with multitudes of others whose paths I will never cross, yet remain linked to through that enigmatic filament.
As human civilization has grown increasingly interconnected, people traverse the globe more extensively than at any previous juncture; vast numbers of individuals have become detached from their ancestral homelands and resettled in distant corners of the planet. For the majority, outward appearance serves as the sole enduring evidence stretching backward and echoing those whose existences concluded long ago—those whose journeys paved the pathway that delivered us to our present identities and locations.
As civilizations have started to converge and intermingle, our collective perceptions of attractiveness have undergone sweeping transformations. The honoring of striking distinctions among women globally has gradually begun to recede against the tide of homogenized ideals. We start measuring ourselves against these variances, or perhaps against internalized standards, thereby surrendering our capacity to marvel at the extraordinary craftsmanship embedded within our own differences.
For anyone willing to look, that craftsmanship reveals itself readily—the translucent complexion of a Japanese woman, the exuberant spiraling coils of an Ethiopian woman, the breathtaking silhouette of a Brazilian woman, or the otherworldly, elfin palette of an Icelandic woman. Granted, every ethnic community encompasses a broad spectrum of appearances, yet countless shared physical traits unite the members of each one.
As self-scrutiny escalates alongside the swift expansion of international media and digital communications, technology has furnished a "remedy" for virtually any grievance an individual might harbor regarding their appearance. According to The New York Times, Iran has earned the reputation as the rhinoplasty capital of the globe in recent times, as a substantial segment of women abandon their characteristically Persian facial structure in pursuit of a "Western nose."
The procedure most frequently sought in Korea is the double eyelid operation, pursued by those desiring rounder, broader-looking eyes. Across the Philippines, estimates indicate that four out of every 10 women apply whitening products to their naturally deeper-toned skin, while in America, Botox treatments flourish as white women pursue plumper lips commonly observed elsewhere worldwide.
What compels us to drift away from the most fundamental elements that constitute our identity? What lures us toward dissecting and admiring attractiveness in others while occasionally obstructing our capacity to recognize the distinctive beauty we inherently carry? We overlook the Indian woman whose eyes possess such depth and richness that one becomes mesmerized, or the singular contour of an African-American woman's generous lips.
For the majority, outward appearance serves as the sole enduring evidence stretching backward and echoing those whose existences concluded long ago—those whose journeys paved the pathway that delivered us to our present identities and locations.
In gradually gravitating toward a monolithic standard of attractiveness, we can concurrently distance ourselves from a fragment of our own selfhood. More heartbreakingly, we amplify the obligation and pressure placed upon women who succeed us to replicate the pattern—many of whom remain tethered to us by that identical invisible filament. This surfaces the ultimate inquiry: "At what moment and for what reason did I come to believe I lack beauty?"
As with any enigma, a pathway exists that guides us toward resolution, though that resolution will vary uniquely for each individual. It represents a revelation possessing the capacity to ignite our ability to cherish every dimension of who we are.
Safeguarding variety in beauty commences with genuinely valuing it. Embracing the ethnic facets of our own physical makeup serves as the gateway that will swing open toward genuine self-acceptance and a sentiment of reverence for the origins of those traits. For many of us, neatly classifying our ethnicity proves challenging; countless individuals possess a heritage with branches reaching into numerous regions. Yet our roots represent a concealed treasure deserving of pursuit.
Our roots represent a concealed treasure deserving of pursuit.
Inquire with relatives, examine photographs, and absorb their narratives. Revelations await that will not merely enhance our comprehension of ourselves, but also cultivate a sense of selfhood that belongs uniquely to us. This comprehension will additionally contribute toward constructing a fresh outlook wherein variety in beauty becomes something worthy of celebration. The marvel of encountering grace in the unforeseen and unconventional evolves into the supreme encounter with beauty itself.
It falls upon us to grasp our identities and to treasure them, enabling us to treasure others in return. The outcome will manifest as a world populated by women who retain their capacity to assess and recognize genuine beauty while continuously aiding in expanding its definition to encompass an authentically worldwide scope.
The journey through these pages need not conclude here. Subscribe to Darling and unlock immediate entry to all of our digital editions, alongside receiving our newest issue delivered straight to your mailbox.
Feature Image via Kayla Mendez; Additional Images via Patrick Maus
