Dining Room Design by Maria Killam
This concept has been simmering in my mind for a long time. While I've mentioned it in earlier posts, I can now explain the dynamic more clearly, thanks to insights gained from watching conversations on my private Facebook group for True Colour Expert graduates.
One of the greatest benefits of my three-day colour workshop is that you're never alone afterward. You join a vibrant online community of designers and decorators who are both knowledgeable and passionate about colour.
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Cape Cod Exterior
This post is for all design professionals who may lack formal training or the chance to apprentice under another designer before starting their own business.
If you've worked for someone else before launching your own firm, you've already learned from their mistakes and successes. If not, you're figuring it out as you go.
This post also offers homeowners who've never worked with a design professional insight into how they can help their decorator achieve a successful outcome.
I've met homeowners who say they've never had a good experience with a designer. That makes me sad because it shouldn't happen. Read on to see if you recognize yourself here—it might explain why past designer relationships didn't go as hoped, or how to make future projects more successful.
There's a fine line every creative professional must navigate: when to stand firm and convince your client that your idea is right, and when to let go because they're not buying it.
The intangible world of decorating—choosing fabrics, finishes, colours, and styling—means you can't simply give clients exactly what they ask for. If they could achieve it on their own, they wouldn't have hired you.
We all want to make clients happy, but that doesn't mean bending to every whim. It often means being firm about what won't work and, more importantly, explaining why.
Another point: you know you should be a decorator when family and friends already ask you for design help. But professional decorating for others is hard at first.
You might be brilliant at decorating your own home but struggle with other people's spaces—especially when you're new and often working with existing pieces you don't love or think are wrong for the room.
A big part of a decorator's job (especially when the client isn't starting from scratch) is deciding what should stay and what must go to achieve the desired new look.
Then there's the whole fee structure. My private True Colour Expert page is filled with threads about money, how to charge, and questions like: "My client chose/is keeping {this awful floor/sofa/area rug}—now what?"
So here are the three warning signs that your client is bossing you around:
1. You Haven't Developed a Distinct Aesthetic
If your portfolio doesn't reflect a strong, cohesive style, your client hasn't hired you for your particular look. That makes everything harder to manage.
It's the difference between hiring "help" and buying into a specific aesthetic. It's much easier to sell your style when: 1) you have a defined look and promote it, and 2) your client hired you for that look.
If at your first meeting the client dislikes everything you present, it may be because you haven't established enough expertise or aesthetic common ground to earn their trust.
Early in my career, when presenting ideas, I'd bring almost all my fabric books, hoping something would stick. My motto was "I can work with any style." Needless to say, I often had to start over after gathering more information from what they didn't like.
I recall the first time I hired a graphic designer years ago—I hated everything he sent. After research, I found an example similar to what I wanted that he could recreate. By giving him a reference, I began approving his work.
As a decorator (or any creative professional), there's little you can do about this in the beginning, but it's enlightening to understand this dynamic.
Here's the honest truth: if you're new, you might know that the offending area rug or other item the client insists on keeping will hold the room hostage or kill your vision. But you're only going on intuition, and without strong conviction, it's hard to be persuasive.
Which brings us to the second sign:
2. You Lack Conviction in Your Recommendations
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This comes from years of experience or very sharp insight. Without it, you struggle to give clear direction, so you cave and try to creatively work around that awful carpet—then privately complain to decorator friends.
Recently, I arrived at a consultation where a young couple had inherited furniture from the wife's mother. They'd just bought their first apartment and had no budget for all-new furniture. They were struggling with what they had.
Immediately, I rearranged the furniture, eliminated two chairs, and found replacements online within minutes.
The conversation went something like this:
Me: "Those two chairs have to go. They don't work at all—right now it looks like you just moved in and haven't bought new furniture yet."
Client: "But it was a nightmare getting them in here. There's no way to get them out—they gouged the walls all the way up our narrow staircase."
Me: "Can you lower them from the balcony? They CANNOT stay."
Client: "Okay, I'll tell my husband—he'll be happy to have a plan."
A few days later, she sent photos of the new chairs and thanked me for how much better the room felt.
This example may sound simplistic, but in the industry, countless similar scenarios play out.
Here's another way a client will boss you around—and it might be the worst:
3. Your Client Has Unrealistic Expectations
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Your client's list of requirements for that perfect sofa (or other hard-to-source item) is so narrow you'd need a Swiss furniture maker reachable only by ski lift to custom-make it. Oh, and the budget is under $1000.
If you're a new decorator, you're likely working with someone who's also never hired a decorator before—maybe a referral from your mom or a friend.
Two issues arise: they may be on a budget, making charging tricky, or they have unrealistic expectations of what working with a professional involves, leaving you with an impossible shopping list that takes more time than you can bill.
When you're new, you don't know how long sourcing takes—you only find out at the end of your search. After hours or days, you may discover that what the client wants either doesn't exist or is far out of their price range.
The way to handle this is to understand you're learning. At this stage, you can't charge for every hour because you lack the experience to estimate time accurately.
I've seen many bitter forum threads where a client didn't pay or balked at the final invoice. If that's happened to you, this might explain why.
Even if your invoice clearly states you spent extra hours you're not billing, the client won't be happy if any part of it is a surprise.
Perhaps the client didn't know the invoice amount because you didn't know how long things would take—so you prepared the bill, crossed your fingers, and hoped to get paid.
This is why setting standard rates is hard: the longer you're in the industry, the faster you become at managing projects and the better you are at initial contracting, so the client knows what to expect all along.
When you ask me to make all your furniture work in your living room, I've already assessed in one glance that two chairs won't work and can find replacements within minutes—something that would have taken me hours early in my career.
These are common challenges new decorators face, but the good news is that with experience and support from other designers, they can all be overcome. Clarity, confidence, and conviction sell. Developing your confidence comes from honing an aesthetic point of view.
Presenting your style on a blog or Instagram is a great way to attract clients who appreciate your look, making initial negotiations smoother since they already know what they're signing up for and trust your judgment.
Your job is not to be an obedient decorating elf but to build the knowledge and experience to effectively manage communication, expectations, and outcomes—so your client gets value for their money and ultimately the result they want: a home that fills them with happiness when they walk in the door.
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