Step Inside the Crypto Crackhouse
Locals refer to a certain building as the Crypto Crackhouse.
Grant Hummer, the organizer of the San Francisco Ethereum Meetup, calls it home. Long corridors named Bitcoin Boulevard and Ethereum Alley lead to shared bathrooms. Together with his co-founder, Hummer poured $40 million of their own crypto-generated wealth into their new $100 million hedge fund, Chromatic Capital.
“My brain is fried from all the ups and downs,” Hummer said. “I’ve stopped caring. I’m completely desensitized. I can lose a million dollars in a day and just shrug it off.”
His living space is sparse: a bed, a futon, a TV perched on a nearly empty media stand, three cans of keyboard cleaning spray, and half a dozen containers of Lysol wipes. His T-shirt bore the slogan ‘The Lizard of Wall Street,’ featuring a lizard in a suit draped with dollar-sign necklaces. He always carries a coin engraved with “memento mori” to remind himself that death could come any day. He views the crypto boom as part of a global catastrophe.
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“The worse the regular economy performs and the less trust people have, the better crypto does,” Hummer explained. “It’s essentially the ultimate short bet.”
Hummer later met up with Joe Buttram, 27, for drinks. Buttram, a mixed martial arts fighter, said he would step into the ring for a few hundred bucks, sometimes a few thousand. He also worked security at a startup, but his main pastimes were browsing 4chan and collecting vintage adult films—hobbies that introduced him to cryptocurrency.
He claimed his holdings are in the tens of millions but refused to provide specifics, other than saying he had quit his job and was launching a hedge fund. A common paranoia among crypto-rich individuals is the fear of being targeted and robbed, since no bank safeguards their money, so many are fiercely secretive. Many say even their parents don’t know their actual wealth. Of course, this also lets people exaggerate their riches.
“It’s ruthless,” Buttram said. “One mistake and everything disappears.”
They discussed buying Lamborghinis, the only socially acceptable way to spend money in the Ethereum cryptocurrency community. The currency’s creator is often depicted in fan art as Jesus driving a Lamborghini. Buttram mentioned he’s renting an orange Lambo for the weekend. He also wears a solid gold Bitcoin “B” necklace encrusted with diamonds, custom-made. Otherwise, HODL.
This is a core tenet of the community: HODL, a frantic misspelling of “hold.” HODL even when you feel FUD—fear, uncertainty, and doubt. Flaunting wealth suggests you don’t truly believe in the cryptocurrency revolution, a complete overhaul of the financial system, governments, and global order that will drive the price of ether to astronomical heights.
“HODL when everyone has FUD,” Hummer said softly, explaining why he still lives in a dorm-style room. “This will transform civilization. It could 100x or more from here.”
He acknowledges how odd this sounds.
“When I meet people in the normal world now, I get bored,” Hummer admitted. “It’s a completely different level of awareness.”
The mood turns serious.
“Sometimes I think about what would happen to the future if a bomb went off at one of our gatherings,” Buttram mused.
Hummer responded, “A bomb would set back civilization for years.”
A few days later, Hummer was working from his co-founder’s apartment.
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