Not long ago, I was perched at my workstation, fingertips hovering above the keys ready to type an email, when an unexpected wave of energy swept from the top of my head down to my feet. I recognized the sensation immediately — it was my old companion, Stress, paying another visit.
She tends to surface whenever I struggle to set priorities, whenever feelings run intense, whenever too many people demand my focus, and whenever I sense I'm falling short no matter what I do. She leans heavily on my shoulders and whispers, "You will never rise from this seat. You will never break free. You will never relax or feel at liberty. You're trapped in this endless grind for good."
My heartbeat quickens, pressure builds in my chest, my eyes feel strained, and the entire room begins to rotate.
A couple of years back, whenever I experienced this form of stress or panic episode, I assumed I was losing my mind or that I needed an emergency hospital visit for a possible cardiac event. Fortunately, thanks to personal development, mentors, and the abundance of wisdom available, I've gathered several effective techniques to request that Stress take her leave whenever she arrives.
How I Combat My Constant Companion
1. I pause and acknowledge that the juggling is GENUINE, then reshape my personal definition of "balance."
Some people may not share my view, but I believe flawless balance is somewhat of a fantasy, primarily because it defies clear definition. It's that unattainable Instagram image featuring a snug chair tucked in a corner with a cup of coffee, or a pristine home with every detail in order, a tidy schedule, and an infant sitting motionless with a grin. Having run my own business for more than seven years, been a wife for six, and a mother for one year, I divide my hours in countless directions through vastly different methods each day. If I continuously pursue a vague notion of "balance," I will never attain it. I just wind up consumed by guilt constantly. Rather than balance, I direct my attention to priorities. I've created a mental ranking of what matters most to me and I try to structure my time around these items by allocating both hours and energy. For instance, family and friends come first, my health and spirituality second, my career third, and personal growth and hobbies fourth. I approach each day striving to fit each of these into its appropriate slot, and that approach helps me view every day as a victory. If I didn't make it to number four, that's fine. I'll take another shot tomorrow!
2. I deliberately decide to recognize that it's not really such a huge matter.
Whenever I begin to yield to stress, I pull myself back and inquire, "Is this genuinely worth my energy to worry about?" Nine times out of ten, it absolutely isn't: The magazine attributions were incorrect. I've run out of food. A mistake went out in a message. I need fuel for the vehicle. I failed to approve something in time. I dropped my keys while my hands were already full. Someone needs this, that, and the other thing RIGHT NOW…everything keeps occurring, nonstop, and admittedly, it accumulates. However, looking at the bigger picture, my minor concerns are typically unrelated to anything critical for survival — so I've learned to keep things under control. I draw in a deep breath, release it slowly, and re-center my thoughts on the truth that I'm alive, I'm well, and I'm cherished. Then I glance around and consider who else I could share this truth with.
I draw in a deep breath, release it slowly, and re-center my thoughts on the truth that I'm alive, I'm well, and I'm cherished. Then I glance around and consider who else I could share this truth with.
3. I welcome tranquility into my inner world.
Tranquility is more elusive nowadays with the iPhone, the perpetual connectivity brought by technology, and the countless channels flooding us with endless information. Yet peace doesn't arrive through the absence of stress — it emerges right in the middle of it. I imagine myself stationed at the center of a tornado, sitting calmly and motionless while observing life spin around me — a chaotic swirl of images, voices, and sounds, while I deliberately allow my heart to remain at ease despite the surrounding turbulence. Peace exists solely within; it transcends comprehension, reasoning, and the conditions of our external environment. When I feel swamped, I visualize a sanctuary of peace within my heart, a serene, lovely, and restful realm — a place where all my deepest concerns dwell and exist as they ought to. For instance, if something is amiss at work, I picture it already fixed, and I hand the issue over to peace. If someone dear to me is suffering, I envision them whole and healed, and once more, I entrust them to peace. This practice may sound demanding, but after hundreds of repetitions, it transforms into a habit and a powerful shield against stress!
What helps you handle stress?
Images via Marshall Cox
Solving Human Problems By Transforming Human Attitudes by Dalai Lama
