After my girls gave up their meditation cushions, the cat claimed them.
In my previous article, I explained what motivated me to introduce my children to meditation. Here, I'll walk through the actual approach I used and how I responded once their enthusiasm faded.
Let me begin by acknowledging that I don't believe structured meditation is necessarily the most effective method for instilling mindfulness in small kids. Young children typically respond better to hands-on, playful exercises, particularly ones that allow them to move. (My book, Ready, Set, Breathe: Practicing Mindfulness with Your Children for Fewer Meltdowns and a More Peaceful Family, features more than 100 activities designed to build mindfulness in kids.)
That said, my daughters (ages 7 and 9) expressed interest in meditating alongside me, so I figured I'd try it out. I sit on a floor cushion for my own practice, and the girls each have their own. They dragged their cushions into the room, and I walked them through finding a comfortable posture. I walked them through a simple breath-focused meditation, then we grabbed my phone and opened the Insight Timer app. I let each of them pick two bell sounds they liked — one to mark the start and one to signal the end.
(At the bottom of this post, I've included the exact script I used with my girls. Adapt it however you'd like for your own children!)
We dialed the timer to three minutes (begin small, friends!), settled in, and kicked off the session. My daughters sat completely motionless, breathing slowly and deliberately the whole way through.
HAHA. Fooled you! You weren't actually buying that, were you?
In reality, they squirmed, whispered, sighed dramatically, and tumbled about. Every time their noise or shifting pulled my focus away, I observed that drift and then redirected my attention to my breathing. When the closing bell chimed, we remained still and listened as the tone gradually disappeared. I invited them to share any questions or reflections; while they didn't offer anything profound, they did mention that maybe reclining would feel better next time. I didn't scold them for being restless, and I didn't lecture them about improving their form. I simply thanked them for joining me, and that was the end of it.
This tiny ritual continued for roughly three days before both girls decided they were done. I offered a few more invitations, they turned them down, and I let the matter rest. They understand I continue to meditate daily, and they know the invitation remains open, but I'm not forcing the issue.
Naturally, I'd love for them to keep meditating, but my years of experience — both as a parent and as someone who was once a child myself — have taught me that pressuring kids into activities tends to backfire. Spectacularly. So I'll stick with what I've been doing the whole time: cultivating mindfulness, meditating, and weaving these concepts into my daughters' lives through stories, books, games, and a range of other engaging activities.
Whenever they're prepared to come back, they will.
Getting Into a Comfortable Meditation Posture:
Mindfulness meditation can be practiced in four fundamental body positions: seated, reclining, standing, or walking. For those just starting out, I typically recommend seated or reclining. If you opt for seated, a cushion or chair both work well.
Whichever position you pick, comfort and steadiness are essential — otherwise, settling your mind becomes a struggle. If you're on a cushion, aim for three points of contact with the floor: your seat and both knees. Ideally, you can sit cross-legged with your knees resting on the ground (something I can't manage!), but if that's not possible, slip a cushion or folded blanket beneath each knee for support, or experiment with the modified kneeling posture outlined in #5 of this article. (That's my personal setup.)
Once you're settled, work on keeping your spine upright. You don't need to be rigid — your neck and back shouldn't ache — but slouching isn't ideal either. An upright posture communicates to your body and mind that this activity matters.
Your eyes can be open or closed. If open, locate a fixed point on the floor ahead of you and softly rest your gaze on it. That doesn't mean staring intently; just let your eyes settle there. Your hands can rest on your thighs or in your lap.
A Simple Breath Awareness Practice (Suitable for Adults and Children):
Kick things off with a few deep, intentional breaths. As you breathe, tune into where the sensation is most vivid. Is the air flowing in and out through your nostrils? Do you sense it expanding your chest? Or do you detect your abdomen rising and falling? There's no incorrect choice — the key is locating the spot in your body where the breath is easiest to feel.
Next, allow your breathing to return to its natural rhythm. There's no need to push, pause, or stretch your breaths. Simply breathe, and pay attention to the sensation of air entering and leaving your body. When your attention drifts (and it absolutely will!), acknowledge the drift and gently return to the breath. Don't beat yourself up when thoughts intrude — that's simply what minds do. The aim isn't to maintain flawless concentration on your breath; the aim is to repeatedly catch your mind wandering and repeatedly choose to anchor yourself back to your breathing.
Starting with brief sessions, perhaps around five minutes, is often wise. As I mentioned, I rely on the Insight Timer app, which offers a nice variety of bell tones and lets you log your sessions. Once you've gotten more comfortable with the practice, you can extend the duration.
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