The Principles of Love Evolve, Yet the Core Message Endures
Rumors suggest Meghan Markle follows the relationship guidebook The Rules, which became an immediate hit upon its 1995 release. The advice aimed at women seeking “marriage, in the shortest time possible” has attracted plenty of backlash. Detractors argue that The Rules is a collection of absurd tactics promoting female submissiveness. Don’t get sidetracked. Though the advice may be wrapped in old-fashioned charm, its core is relentlessly pragmatic. Here it is:
Cultivate self-respect. Never undervalue yourself. Don’t squander your time on a man who lacks genuine interest or treats you poorly.
So what if marriage isn’t your objective in relationships with men. So what if The Rules advice sounds like it comes from a kind-hearted but slightly eccentric 90-year-old great-aunt. Laugh off the superficial rules as written, then embrace The Rules’ emphasis on self-worth. Below are a few examples from the chapter on attracting a high-profile man, meeting a celebrity, and dating a business magnate.
- Breathe deeply. Remain calm.
- Treat him like any other person, not as the movie star or corporate titan he is.
- Avoid staring at him.
- Don’t beam or act ecstatic, as if you’ve hit the jackpot.
- Behave as though you’ve been abroad for the past three years and aren’t entirely certain who he is, even if he recently appeared on the cover of People magazine.
- Refrain from asking for his autograph.
- Offer no compliments.
- Show zero curiosity about his profession.
- If you’re an aspiring actress, do not request an audition.
- Never ask him for a favor, such as donating to your preferred charity.
- Appear engaged but not mesmerized. Give him space. After five minutes of discussion on any topic he chooses, say: ‘Oh, look at the time, I must leave now. It was nice meeting you.’ Then walk away.
- Don’t seem awed by his limousine or entourage.
- Once you’re dating a celebrity, don’t meet him whenever and wherever it suits his busy schedule.
- It’s tempting to abandon your friends and family and center your entire existence around this famous man. You must continue living your own life. See him only two to three times per week — until he proposes.
- If he’s very popular, anticipate that other women may write, call, or throw themselves at him. Do not become angry or display jealousy or insecurity. Avoid being possessive in public. If he pursued you, their advances won’t matter. He’ll still want you.
- Be discreet. Do not contact the tabloids to announce your relationship as a way of signaling to other women that he’s taken. That would be self-serving, potentially hurtful or embarrassing to him, and could ruin any chance of continuing to see you.
- Don’t try to become overly close with his staff to monitor him or to have them put in a good word for you.
- Don’t appear excessively interested in his wealth or fame. Rules girls are not groupies.
- Don’t rush into sex.
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Rumors suggest Meghan Markle follows the relationship guidebook The Rules, which became an immediate hit upon its 1995 release. The advice aimed at women seeking “marriage, in the shortest time possible” has attracted plenty of backlash. Detractors argue that The Rules is a collection of absurd tactics promoting female submissiveness. Don’t get sidetracked. Though the advice may be wrapped in old-fashioned charm, its core is relentlessly pragmatic. Here it is:
Cultivate self-respect. Never undervalue yourself. Don’t squander your time on a man who lacks genuine interest or treats you poorly.
So what if marriage isn’t your objective in relationships with men. So what if The Rules advice sounds like it comes from a kind-hearted but slightly eccentric 90-year-old great-aunt. Laugh off the superficial rules as written, then embrace The Rules’ emphasis on self-worth. Below are a few examples from the chapter on attracting a high-profile man, meeting a celebrity, and dating a business magnate.
- Breathe deeply. Remain calm.
- Treat him like any other person, not as the movie star or corporate titan he is.
- Avoid staring at him.
- Don’t beam or act ecstatic, as if you’ve hit the jackpot.
- Behave as though you’ve been abroad for the past three years and aren’t entirely certain who he is, even if he recently appeared on the cover of People magazine.
- Refrain from asking for his autograph.
- Offer no compliments.
- Show zero curiosity about his profession.
- If you’re an aspiring actress, do not request an audition.
- Never ask him for a favor, such as donating to your preferred charity.
- Appear engaged but not mesmerized. Give him space. After five minutes of discussion on any topic he chooses, say: ‘Oh, look at the time, I must leave now. It was nice meeting you.’ Then walk away.
- Don’t seem awed by his limousine or entourage.
- Once you’re dating a celebrity, don’t meet him whenever and wherever it suits his busy schedule.
- It’s tempting to abandon your friends and family and center your entire existence around this famous man. You must continue living your own life. See him only two to three times per week — until he proposes.
- If he’s very popular, anticipate that other women may write, call, or throw themselves at him. Do not become angry or display jealousy or insecurity. Avoid being possessive in public. If he pursued you, their advances won’t matter. He’ll still want you.
- Be discreet. Do not contact the tabloids to announce your relationship as a way of signaling to other women that he’s taken. That would be self-serving, potentially hurtful or embarrassing to him, and could ruin any chance of continuing to see you.
- Don’t try to become overly close with his staff to monitor him or to have them put in a good word for you.
- Don’t appear excessively interested in his wealth or fame. Rules girls are not groupies.
- Don’t rush into sex.
