On the left, Cressida Bonas; on the right, Chelsy Davy. Both previously dated Prince Harry and were present at his marriage to Meghan Markle. Image credits: Pool photo by Wpa (left); Chris Jackson/Getty Images (right).
When Itamar Conner, a 22-year-old student, tied the knot on September 23, 2017, at the Marine Corps Base in Quantico, Virginia, she made a conscious choice not to extend invitations to two former boyfriends she still considered friends. She felt it would be disrespectful to her husband.
“We both had our fair share of dating and having a good time before we got together,” she explained. “But our wedding day was something we held very dear, and we didn’t want it to be overshadowed by the past. The thought of seeing my exes in the wedding photos wasn’t something we wanted.”
Could Unresolved Emotions Play a Role?
Inviting an ex is particularly ill-advised if either person still harbors romantic feelings.
“If your connection with an ex is ambiguous or hidden, if there’s still some lingering energy between you, that’s a clear sign they should be left out,” Mr. Kerner advised. “You might be over them, but if the ex still holds a romantic or sexual attraction, it’s wise to establish a boundary.”
Cristina Garcia, a 38-year-old wellness consultant from Austin, Texas, who is now happily married with children, was taken aback when her high school sweetheart personally delivered an invitation to his wedding. “I knew he was in a serious relationship, and I was genuinely pleased for him,” she recalled. “But I never imagined his wife would agree to having me there.”
She attended the event and found the experience quite puzzling. “When the doors opened and the bride appeared, he was scanning the room for me. Our eyes met. After that, the ceremony went on, and I offered my congratulations afterward and watched their first dance,” she said. “Perhaps it was his way of finding closure.”
She noted that the moment is one she will never forget.
Ms. Swann highlights Prince Charles as a cautionary example of how not to handle such situations.
nytimes.com
